How to Win the Donald Trump Thanksgiving Argument: I Did and You Can Too!

“I just think he wears too much makeup…”

I responded soft and dejected. This to me was the Trojan Horse of all arguments. No one at the table expected this response from a college educated caucasian male age 30 with slightly graying hair. Immediately, it put me in an extremely shallow and “disdained” position as viewed by the others at the table. Exactly where I wanted to be. CHECK…

As the first responses quickly and fervently trickled in – “What!?” – “That is so shallow!” –  “You are mean!” and “How can you say that?CHECKMATE…

I think you know where I am headed. NOTE: for the rest of this conversation also refer to DONALD TRUMP = DON – this will add to the confusion at some point, guaranteed. I respond, “Don himself preaches that it is all about looks, right? I mean he himself has promoted this idea of looks first RIGHT!?” This perfectly misguided conversation is headed in the perfect direction. To which there are very few responses – this is after all the words and actions of the man himself which now they will be required to defend. The truth is this response is the ONLY response that your family members and friends have not prepared for this Thanksgiving. While they were spending all of their precious time preparing for the “intellectuals” so worked up over all of the REAL reasons that we oppose Don, just slip in with an argument that Don would actually make himself! This leads to what I call the “Feedback Loop” argument where the discussion must directly move in a circular manner back to the initial statement of disdain – in a direction which is very perfectly fitting and apropos. All you have to do is keep returning to this initial argument ad nauseam – without skipping a beat – until the entire table is vomiting their Thanksgiving Turkey and dressing from confusion and disorientation. “Don… Makeup… He said… Don… Makeup… He said… Don… Makeup… He said…” Drive it home and see the amazing results for yourself! Fun!

This idea that such shallow arguments, which Don himself made a cornerstone of his rise, have no such place at a table where we are trying to have a real discussion. Viola! Take the argument from here folks, you can thank me later!

Fuck it! 

N8

dt-thank

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The Diagram of 2016 – How

Growing up in an extremely sheltered catholic midwestern household I was always taught some very simple “guidelines”. Whether it be good or bad this is the life I know. It was always God, Family, and Country. Whether it be right or wrong – that is yet a whole other discussion but today we realized something as a country and I did as an individual. These are the truths that we live by in 2016:

Sexism > Unity

Diversity > Sexism

Family > Diversity

Money > Family

Power > Money

God > Power

Greed > God

Trump > Greed

And here we are. This justifies all votes and support for the great devil when applied to this diagram. It is undisputable as I have debated and spoken with thousands of people over the last 9 months of my life. It makes how we got here so very simple. This is the truth as voted by our own fellow countrymen. If you study this diagram you will begin to see the problems we are faced with currently. I see this in the eyes of my own parents. The rest is just shit talk. They can say what they want, but these are the new principles by which my own family lives and a much larger population as a whole. I have devoted an entire year of my life, $30,000 in personal debts, and countless unpaid hours working to promote Unity in 2016. But the truth is I believe Unity is currently where I put it in the diagram: dead last. I understand this. I get it. People love to use their mouths instead of their wallets. They want to talk about power and money and how they can acquire it at all costs – this is the baby boomer generation. Consume, consume, consume, and shit on the rest. I challenge you to see where this diagram applies – to me it sums up 2016. For anyone overseas – may God be with us and protect us. We are in for a dark time in our countries history – I can see it in the eyes of the people.