How to Win the Donald Trump Thanksgiving Argument: I Did and You Can Too!

“I just think he wears too much makeup…”

I responded soft and dejected. This to me was the Trojan Horse of all arguments. No one at the table expected this response from a college educated caucasian male age 30 with slightly graying hair. Immediately, it put me in an extremely shallow and “disdained” position as viewed by the others at the table. Exactly where I wanted to be. CHECK…

As the first responses quickly and fervently trickled in – “What!?” – “That is so shallow!” –  “You are mean!” and “How can you say that?CHECKMATE…

I think you know where I am headed. NOTE: for the rest of this conversation also refer to DONALD TRUMP = DON – this will add to the confusion at some point, guaranteed. I respond, “Don himself preaches that it is all about looks, right? I mean he himself has promoted this idea of looks first RIGHT!?” This perfectly misguided conversation is headed in the perfect direction. To which there are very few responses – this is after all the words and actions of the man himself which now they will be required to defend. The truth is this response is the ONLY response that your family members and friends have not prepared for this Thanksgiving. While they were spending all of their precious time preparing for the “intellectuals” so worked up over all of the REAL reasons that we oppose Don, just slip in with an argument that Don would actually make himself! This leads to what I call the “Feedback Loop” argument where the discussion must directly move in a circular manner back to the initial statement of disdain – in a direction which is very perfectly fitting and apropos. All you have to do is keep returning to this initial argument ad nauseam – without skipping a beat – until the entire table is vomiting their Thanksgiving Turkey and dressing from confusion and disorientation. “Don… Makeup… He said… Don… Makeup… He said… Don… Makeup… He said…” Drive it home and see the amazing results for yourself! Fun!

This idea that such shallow arguments, which Don himself made a cornerstone of his rise, have no such place at a table where we are trying to have a real discussion. Viola! Take the argument from here folks, you can thank me later!

Fuck it! 

N8

dt-thank

Heartbreaking Agreement

We have reached a heartbreaking agreement

To stop the class action

The loss has wiped the smile off our faces

I take it on the chin

Even though we didn’t win

Through thick and thin

A vengeful hopeful will not be amused

While the olive branch of hope must be refused

I need a space to be left undesirable

Untreatable

A punch to the gut

I had hoped for more than a plastic cone

Orange and alone

Amused tonally

Refused totally

 

 

 

The Diagram of 2016 – How

Growing up in an extremely sheltered catholic midwestern household I was always taught some very simple “guidelines”. Whether it be good or bad this is the life I know. It was always God, Family, and Country. Whether it be right or wrong – that is yet a whole other discussion but today we realized something as a country and I did as an individual. These are the truths that we live by in 2016:

Sexism > Unity

Diversity > Sexism

Family > Diversity

Money > Family

Power > Money

God > Power

Greed > God

Trump > Greed

And here we are. This justifies all votes and support for the great devil when applied to this diagram. It is undisputable as I have debated and spoken with thousands of people over the last 9 months of my life. It makes how we got here so very simple. This is the truth as voted by our own fellow countrymen. If you study this diagram you will begin to see the problems we are faced with currently. I see this in the eyes of my own parents. The rest is just shit talk. They can say what they want, but these are the new principles by which my own family lives and a much larger population as a whole. I have devoted an entire year of my life, $30,000 in personal debts, and countless unpaid hours working to promote Unity in 2016. But the truth is I believe Unity is currently where I put it in the diagram: dead last. I understand this. I get it. People love to use their mouths instead of their wallets. They want to talk about power and money and how they can acquire it at all costs – this is the baby boomer generation. Consume, consume, consume, and shit on the rest. I challenge you to see where this diagram applies – to me it sums up 2016. For anyone overseas – may God be with us and protect us. We are in for a dark time in our countries history – I can see it in the eyes of the people.

 

 

What a Rush

It’s that determined feeling

The sweet ambition

The fantastic touch

The plausible idea

Warm to talk to

Improving the rush

To the fingers

Head

Arms

The rush of the moment

The Borrowed Riff

thebergamot_south-bend_36

PHOTO CREDIT: EVAN PERIGO

In a nebulous state of mind

The concluding chord rung out

Wrung out

Fascinated by the quick sequel of progression

How one planned moment

Moves to the next

A grape plucked from the tree

Quickly becomes a past tense

Cattle that pine for the open fields

Excellent presentation

Not quite overstated

But rather I am fascinated

That now a moment planned now is

More present a moment unknown

A hat floating off the cliff

Taken in

The borrowed riff

 

The Rally Cry of the Tired

The rally cry of the tired

A worthy cause flamed out with vigor

Passing floating rolling

I have tried

To do good

Good to be undone

So much has to rely on a rally cry

When your tired

And lonely

Not alone

You feel sad

Disconnected from the world

How did it work out not the way it was

All planned

A plane in flight unmanned

The plane now is in the final descent

It will land

How

Unknown

But through all of this

I

We

Have grown

Grown up

So here we come

Yawn of the Wise

The yawn of the wise

Can drop over the heads of my contemporaries

Of me

I work out of the hole I have created

Aspiration dedication

But rabid talk has no consequence

No sequence

No following

But I am telling you of this situation

Not as a rebuttal

But as a jobless touch

For my own nature

Contemplating my own future

What will happen

Uncertain

But this is all certainly true

Take a Look

Let’s take a look at the headlines

The twitter feeds

Handles and Hashtags

Feeling a bit out of line

What is coming through the feed line

The umbilical chord of information

Keeping me alive

As my eyes read over every line

Some clowns grab the main light

Stage set for them just right

No need to worry for talent or something new

Just get naked and run around for a few

Headlines running from each side of the States

Somehow I can no longer see straight

To the headlines falling off the page

From computers and newpapers

Wasted on the futile

Infertile information trying to impregnate my mind

With nothing more than wasted time

And energy

Just trying to read head news line

 

Marketing

This was written late night. After a long day of marketing and social media-ing. Long day

and semi frustrated with it all and how it can take away from what you really want to

being doing. Enjoy!

All the time spent marketing

Now I know why it’s a full time thing

I have to spend some time on twitter

I watch it like a babysitter

With a cute emblem of a little critter

But it is so much more than that

A tweet is a tweet

For I am winning the race of the rats

But log on and get your computer

I get distracted by watching McGruber

Eh but why bother who cares

This white screen looks back, it stares

For me to embark on a journey, begin to

Climb the stairs

But for now I must rest and get some deep sleep

This computer keeps me away from slumber and rest

But now go check Facebook

And get that off your chest

A tweet is for twitter

Status the update

Facebook and Twitter

I can not begin to contemplate

And then there is sweet little Google

How many peoples eyes ogle over this Google

Search me this search me that

I need to know the top ten ways to burn fat

The questions run on for days even years

But with no response ever to the ears

Unless with Siri she’s the one

She brings it all together

The holy one

She even knows a joke

That’s a lie

But asking her is still fun

But ode to distraction

I must return to my path

This I must proclaim

I must say

For now I will sneak away

From bots and other things

To rest, rest calm and peaceful

And restore my faith in worldly beings