Unconscious Desiring; An Ode

Unconscious desiring

Subconscious manifesting

Hoping on some dream

Of breaking out of the cycle

Money in

Money out

Dinner bought

Rent Owed

I wish to make it out

Even to the middle class

But these days

Not even the middle class

Can pass

The boundary

Set up in our system

Of class

The city tells me there is no middle

Either you own

Or are owned

There is not much between

The filthy rich

And the much lesser known

Hustling makes you feel alright

But SOMETIMES

It just is not enough

To get you off the ground

For a bigger flight

So my ode is this

I’m not trying to hit it big

Or swig Courvoisier from the jar

I’m just trying to get by

With a little extra to put away

Living for today

So this is my ode

I have nothing more to say

Simple Flake

The time it takes

For one simple flake

To make its way

Down the streets of New York

Falling carelessly to the ground

Over the Empire State

Shoveling below

Cracking sound

Filling the streets with heavy

Steady and steady

Falling so hard

I can barely make out

One World Trade

In a storm for the ages

Barren isles of food in the store

We bear down the hatches

And get ready

For just a little more

Light Ambition

The delicate dance of the squirrel

Through the pine clippings

In McCarren Park

Through the light and

Through the dark

With such light ambition

To find a simple treat

Prance along the sidewalk

Just finding something to eat

Resilience comes in not only humans

In New York City

It even has tough squirrels

Fighting tough

But still seemingly

Elegant and pretty

I can only imagine the scraps

Of the city streets

Instead of lush woods

Would be much easier to find

Whats next to eat

But yet the squirrel carries on

In his speckled gray coat

His eyes just seemed wide

Full of hungered ambition

And hope

Manhattan Avenue

On a Tuesday afternoon

I start to feel my hope slip away

Just a bit

It’s that tiny voice it will say

To drudge on in a world uncertain

Don’t give up now

Please don’t pull the curtain

But when I walk down the street

My heart heavy in my chest

The little voice can’t be heard

Can’t be heard anymore

Even when I give it my best

I try to reinvigorate what may be lost

Walking on Manhattan Ave

Damn rents got me down

On such high costs

That I just have to focus on breath

In and out

I can make it through this day

I have not one doubt

I must rekindle the light words

That once rung in my ears

What was once a mighty roar

I just now barely hear

Complicated Maneuvers

There it is

Spilled my coffee again

In a rush

To make it out

Into the thin

Brittle cold air

Of a New York morning

I reset myself

I should give them some forewarning

Grab some paper towel

I’m already 10 minutes late

If the G is on time that is

My mind begins to race

Such a simple morning

Now turns into complicated maneuvers

I watch the bright white paper towels

Turn to a more rusted out brown

Take a sip of my coffee

Then set it down

In the trash and out the door

I hear the train horn

I run down the stairs

In the old turnstile

With the attendant half asleep

Make the train

Only by a couple of feet

Satisfied Corruption

Satisfied corruption

Don’t take someones word

On automatic assumption

Humanity will rise and fall

Some will tell the truth

Others a false call

Will ring on every persons ears

The willing or unable

Confident or full of fear

It is this small eruption

Will ill will

Built in conjunction

When you are on the receiving end

Beaten down

Will and resilience must not bend

It will happen on a Monday

Or Today

Or any day

For the needs of the liar

Will surely set

Your belly on fire

Clone

If I owned a clone

More than just I alone

Could construct

And Labor

To create a home

Me

And

My clone

Could change the sheets

On the bed

Work while the other one

Read

Write

While the other can play

Me and my clone

Could find many uses this way

Humanity it’s Entirety

Sometimes we just need help

A four letter word

That keeps me from running to far off

On days

Where my pants are dirty

My mind worries

Where the next paycheck is coming

So I find myself running

Not with my feet

Constant thoughts

But then I get some help

It comes in any form

Off the beaten path and more the norm

These small gestures I suggest

Mean more day to day

Take sullen weights off my weary chest

I muse myself that the world can see my needs

Humanity in its entirety

Knows what I need

So I just have to remain steady

Hold on hope

That I can persevere

Through the sleepless nights

And life will return back

Resuming that it will be alright

Guided Indecision

My life is a not a series of beautifully crafted paths
It is as guided by decision
As by indecision
Commitment
And fear
It holds back for no one
No waiting for the clear
Life simply occurs
I react
Doing my best
Given what my limits of knowledge are
I go forward
I try not to look back
Focus on progress
And somehow
Eventually
I make it work

The January Cold

All these days seems the same

Feels like I crawl into a cart

Slide along the tracks

The same mono train

Colors look the same

Pale blue sky grey mist lines

At least through my eyes

I see the limestone steeples

Flanking amongst the light rain

Reaching to the skies

I can find some solace

In these remembrances

Go through the motions

So this is how I bring in the new year

Eyes closed hoping not to hear

News of things good and bad

Today is just a day to remember a great soul

As I walk toward the steeple

In the January Cold